Day 10. Yesterday was pretty bad. I was in such a bad mood all day. In my mind a smoke would have made me relax to the point of functioning, but I had to tough it out. Which meant I was in a horrible mood all day. I was out for blood so to speak. A friend of mine told me about these things called e-ciggs which would be a great thing if you wanted to quit the smoking part only. It's like 20 bucks for 30 ciggs that charge up? They look like real smokes and are flavored with whatever you like, and they give you the nicotine that you normally get from a smoke. But my point to him as he was so confidently advertising for them, was that it only takes 3 days to get nicotine out of your system, and all I would be doing at this point was reintroducing a drug that would cause me to smoke again. Then I would be paying 20 bucks for fake smokes, but I would smoke the same as before. So instead of 5 bucks ever 2-3 days it would be 20 bucks? Plus who knows what the side effect of something like this are. Lets be honest here, it can't possibly be worse than really smoking( one would think) but do we really know what other chemicals they actually add to this contraption. It's interesting, and neat looking,but seriously? a smoking device to help you quit smoking lol.(which btw puts out steam, not smoke)

Which brings me to my own question now. Can smoking be a mood stabilizer? Can it be something that actually helps you mentally keep your cool. Is it a convenient excuse? or is there some facts in this idea? My husband would say it's just an excuse, but I have to wonder because I know what smoking did for me, when he was gone or times got stressful. But could all that just be in my head?